you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
