marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize