Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
