how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
