It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
