Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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