just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
