people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
