Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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