i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
