if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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