yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
