Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
