WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
