So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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