i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
