cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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