How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
