So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
