can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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