hell yes lets make some ravioli
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
