he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
