her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
