Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
