How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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