Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
