You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
