I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
