We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
