Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think my moral compass just broke
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
