everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
