so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
