How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
