I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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