its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
