Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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