I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
