i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
