I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
