I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
