I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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