my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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