...so i touched it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
