you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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