You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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