I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
