She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There's always time for handjobs
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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