Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
