Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
