I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
