He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
