Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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